Spiritual

Avoid the “Woe Is Me” Scenario

Mary Manz Simon, ALOA Board of Directors

Have you hosted a pity party recently?

Although this singular event respects social distancing – after all, group size is limited to merely me, myself and I – whining isn’t useful. Griping or going totally ballistic drains energy and takes us farther away from the positive thinking of our Christian mindset. Even worse, researchers tell us that chronic complaining can rewire our brains. Simply stated, complaining is habit-forming.

The aches and pains that come with aging offer multiple opportunities for negativity. But dreary self-talk signals the need for an attitude adjustment. Step beyond gloom and doom by taking these steps:

Honestly face underlying feelings. Merely pretending to be positive is a dead-end solution that can further drain our emotional banks. If you deserve to have a crabby morning, wallow in negativity for an hour or two and then move on.
Surround yourself with optimistic people. Scientists say our brains unconsciously mimic the moods of those around us.
Be alert to sudden negativity that signals a significant change. Irritability can be caused by medications, drug interactions, infections or illness. Apply knowledge of yourself to determine the need to reach out.

In the Bible, we read that Moses got so tired of hearing the Israelites complain that this mighty leader begged God to kill him! To avoid God’s complaint threshold, choose gratitude over grumbling. Your brain will be healthier, and you and those around you will be happier.

Take a look at previous posts for more inspiration for older adult ministry.

Uplifted During the Pandemic

Mary Manz Simon, ALOA Board of Directors

Is there reason to be feeling uplifted during this crisis?

Absolutely!

Not only is God active, He’s busy! Each of us can list numerous ways we’ve seen God at work among us.

I’m encouraged by the recently released 2020 Passion Points Study. Although neither older adults nor Christian teaching is the focus of this annual research, a single line in this year’s study jumped out: “One result of the pandemic is an increasing desire to celebrate and preserve family traditions.”

Perhaps COVID-19 has made even those in younger generations more aware of mortality. But whatever the reason, the study indicated that legacy thinking is heading downward. The emotional wiring of younger generations is changing.

Can you catch a glimpse of the opportunity? Family members might be longing to hear about the good old days, and this time, they’ll listen! During these uncertain times, we can be inspired to learn how ancestors coped with a disaster, problem or personal tragedy.

As older adults, we’ve lived through tough issues. However, we are living proof the family survived. Hope and optimism are bundled into every family legacy.

Scientists tell us that emotion enhances memory and feelings activate the brain. Even if your memory is foggy, reach back to remember a situation or incident when you felt something. Then share that story. Resilience and the certainty of God’s promises will shine as your empathy connects and communicates.

And that’s critical, because your story reflects how God’s story is being revealed even during this crisis.

Which important relationships can you strengthen during this unexpected season?

Take a look at previous posts for more inspiration for older adult ministry.

Sign of the Fish? Or, a Shy Evangelist?

Mary Manz Simon, ALOA Board of Directors

“Lutherans are a little shy, you know,” says Linda Widman, Ft. Myers FL.

Yet, Linda, a lifelong Lutheran, has witnessed to countless numbers through her necklace ministry.

Years ago, she started wearing the simple circle of fish around her neck. Every day, she wore the same gold-hue necklace. Linda says, “I stopped buying other jewelry, because this is the only necklace I wear.”

“Christians are in the minority,” Linda continues. “Wearing it was my way of saying, ‘I’m a Christian and forgiven sinner.’”

Now widowed, the retired nuclear medicine tech still wears a fish necklace each day. The symbol reflects an Ichthys, Greek word for fish. During times of persecution, early Christians used this sign to connect with other followers of “Jesus Christ, God’s Son, Savior.”

Linda’s not-so-silent witness often becomes the topic of casual conversation. As a result, her outreach multiplies each time she gives away the necklace she’s wearing.

“If a person promises to wear it, I’ll give it to them,” she says. But there’s one stipulation: they need to wear the necklace.

“I tell them, ‘This won’t do any good in your jewelry drawer at home,’” Linda explains. “Several years ago, at the RV resort in which I was living, I looked across the room during one of our dinners at the River Clubhouse. There were 30-40 ladies wearing the necklace. That was pretty cool.”Until recently, Linda kept a stash of the inexpensive jewelry on hand, ready to give away. However, her supplier no longer inventories the product; her stockpile is dwindling. As Linda searches for a new source, she is confident God will provide both the necklaces and the people with whom to share the message. Linda is proof that not all Lutherans are shy evangelists!

We desperately needed this Easter!

Mary Manz Simon, ALOA Board of Directors

My brain is exhausted. I’ve spent hours debating a question with potential life and death consequences: “Should I shop for groceries?”

Even a simple decision is so complicated. As older adults, we are acutely aware of the dangers. Many of us have medical issues which make us even more susceptible to complications from the coronavirus.

“Should I shop for groceries?” My decision weighs heavily; that choice could impact me and the elderly cancer survivor next door. The responsibility is overwhelming.

Multiple levels of thought are needed before taking the simplest actions. Complex issues continually reshape a reality we could have never imagined. Everything is so difficult; brain fatigue is a condition of the evolving new normal.

We each crave the safety of familiar routines that gave our days such order. We hunger for the hugs that reflect personal relationships. We long for an end point to this madness. We desperately needed Easter.

Did you hear the angel’s urgent, new relevance in the message at the tomb? Adapting pandemic language, “Be mindful, not fearful,” came through loud and clear.

In the Gospel of Mark, we read that on the first Easter, “when the women ran from the tomb, they were confused and shaking all over. They were too afraid to tell anyone what had happened.” (Mark 16:8, CEV)

We now understand such paralyzing fear; coronavirus statistics soar to staggering heights. Mysterious microbes float unseen, yet land everywhere. Rumors, fact and fiction intertwine. The sheer stress of the crisis triggers irrational behavior. Yet the angel’s message so long ago is clear for us during this Easter week: “Be mindful, not fearful.” Stay in the moment, but don’t dwell on your fear.

The Resurrection vividly reminds us that “Christ died and was raised to life, and now he is at God’s right side, speaking to him for us.” (Romans 8:34) Even now, Jesus has the ear of His Father. Even now, Jesus is pleading for us with God, our father.

“Be mindful, not fearful,” for when we shift away from fear, the promise of Easter is revealed.

How to Avoid Panic in a Pandemic: 5 Steps to Stay Safe (and Sane)

Mary Manz Simon, ALOA Board of Directors

Stealth transmission. Self isolation. Social distance.
Our vocabulary has increased as the COVID-19 pandemic spreads across the United States.

Even now, as I send you a virtual high-five, the landscape is changing. Live-streamed Lenten worship isn’t the same as singing in the middle of the altos. Talking with a grandchild on FaceTime doesn’t compare with the warmth of little arms around us. Grocery delivery is appreciated, but the home shopper doesn’t always select the ripest pineapple. And after a day of quarantine baking, even calorie-laden cupcakes lose their appeal.

Although age and chronic conditions escalate our risk, we can take concrete steps to avoid the coronavirus anxiety spiral:

Reframe the current crisis by thinking through a longer timeframe. How will things look next year at this time? We’ve lived through 911, the Challenger explosion, Columbine and countless other tragedies and disasters. Apply the “older adult lens” to consider the big picture.
Practice critical thinking skills: see through spin. Tune into credible news sources.
Find a media balance. Hearing or watching the constant stream of uncertainty only heightens distress. Be informed, but not overloaded.
Tap into apps, websites or online exercises when weather doesn’t permit outdoor walking. Physical activity reduces stress and maintains health.
Do pro-social activities from a distance. Phone a friend, play an online game with a grandchild; read the same book as your brother and set a time to discuss it online or on the phone; use pen and paper to write letters to your grandchildren.

We are moving through uncharted waters. Yet amid the chaos and confusion, God is present. The Old Testament prophet, Elijah, looked for God in wind that shook a mountain, in an earthquake that shattered rocks and even in a fire. But when Elijah left his cave, he heard God speak in a soft whisper.

As we hunker down in our twenty-first century caves, we too, can listen and look for God. He walks among us even now.

For the latest information from health experts:
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
World Health Organization

Moving from worry to peace

Mary Manz Simon, ALOA Board of Directors

2019 year-end numbers have been tallied. For the third consecutive year, “worry” came out on top. The words of St. Paul in Philippians 4:6 were shared, highlighted and bookmarked more than any other verse in YouVersion, an online and mobile Bible app.

Is that surprising?

Finances, health and independence issues are top of mind for older adults. Many of us lie awake at night as those problems and other concerns buzz around in our heads.

Some of us actually use worry as a coping mechanism. We might think, “If I’m worrying, at least I’m doing something instead of merely wasting time.” Worrying might not be enjoyable, but at least we feel productive!

Experts tell us there are better solutions. We can use mental gymnastics, or self-talk, to shift negatives to positives. Or we can apply calming skills, like walking, playing a musical instrument or sewing. Some people learn to identify their worry triggers, then immediately look for distractions to divert attention away from unpleasant thoughts. Successful solutions allow a person to move beyond the worry.

Being older is actually a plus when dealing with worry. Research shows that older adults have learned to disengage from feelings of negativity. Millennials are known for their mindfulness, but as older adults we, too, have learned to focus on present situations. We can be totally “in the moment.” Some of that ability comes because we are aware of our shorter timeline.

Statistics tell us the YouVersion users who read 35.6 billion chapters of the Bible in 2019 had an even better idea. They turned to God. Those Bible readers prioritized Philippians 4:6. In The Message, veteran scholar Eugene Peterson describes a comforting image of that verse: “Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.”

I can visualize God, our Father, gently lifting heavy worries from our hands. Can you picture that?

Using this modern translation, St. Paul continues, “Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.”

That’s what every worrier craves: to move forward to a place of peace. And that’s what God offers.

We can’t anticipate what problems we’ll face in 2020. We can’t predict what issues might lead our thoughts to spiral downward into worries. However, we can be confident one coping mechanism will work. We can shape our worries into prayers, letting God know our concerns.